Hey guys. It's me - Sonia.

So, been talking with some friends that I think is time you come home!!! for crying out loud. well, to be more specific, its time janaya, i think you've been gone long enough. It's time you pack up your family, and come home. Thank you.

Well, speaking of friends, i was reading a blog awhile ago, and there was a quiz posted about having friendships and trusting or not trusting the friend, and it got me thinking. hence, here's my thoughts.

I have "friends" that i dont quite totally trust. I do trust them as not wanting to hurt my feelers, but i dont totally trust them with secrets. i've said a few things to people, and hear them repeat it in my presense. and i meant it to be confidential. which was odd. i thought. or, say something to someone else, and have another person repeat what i had said. that was awkward. i'm of the belief that if i wanted people to know things, i would tell people. however, i do also have a few friends that i know if i tell them things, that's about as far as it goes. those are very few and far between. and those friends are great treasures. And i do know some people that I cant trust with anything. They gossip MAJOR!! tell one person something, and the next thing you know, EVERYONE they know that you know knows everything. {I hope that made sense... lol} And they talk about everything!! about everyone!!! to everyone!!!!!! it's crazy. i've learned this, and havn't said anything i dont want the whole world to know. so yeah....

so what exactly defines trust. keeping secrets? not hurting feelers? i did have another thought, but i lost it... lol. oh yeah.... also, when telling secrets, i also trust some people to know what i tell them is just between me, them, and the "steering wheel" as where most secrets come out is in the car. however, sometimes those people still have big mouths. i'm not sure if that was the way they were raised? i know i was raised to KEEP secrets. I know my mom is the same way. I'm not totally sure if its maybe hereditary? i have a few friends that are mom/daughters, and i totally trust the mom as much as i trust the daughter. then i also have some mother/daughter relationship that i wouldnt trust either one much. i do trust them to a point.

which brings me to my next point. what would define a best friend? someone that keeps your secrets? and how do you know for sure they are keeping your secrets. I find it interesting that some people share things with me, but yet, i'm trusting them to keep secrets? i was told if they share one persons secrets, they will share other peoples secrets. right? so what exactly defines a "best friend"? i have a few friends that live in another state, or friends that i dont see often, yet i feel able to pour my heart out to them. and i trust they keep it to themselves. for the most part.... i do have 2 friends in which i feel i can pour my heart out to. one more than the other, but i still talk to them. and i was talking to one not that long ago, and she did share that she and friend number 2 did talk about the issues going on in my life, and how they shared a concern. which for some reason, i was ok with.

which brings another point. if i tell person a something, and person b something, is it ok for person a and person b to talk about it!?? i wouldn't know.... it's confusing!!! i mean, i wouldn't mind these 2 talking, but i would mind another 2 people talking about it. so weird.... maybe i should just pour out all my thoughts into a diary, and tell NO secrets. i know a few people like that... and so i guess if it works for them, it could work for me... right?

however, like i said before, i usually share thoughts in a car... but i have shared secrets in a kitchen. which was just AWKWARD! lol. i just found that really wierd. As most of my "serious" talking goes on in a vehicle. but sometimes, when talking with a friend, there are other ears in the vacinity, and it ends up being said out in words that kinda didn't make any sense to those listening in. however, that was off the subject. so back to trust....

how do you know if you can trust someone? having trust broken by someone HURTS. bad. and being hurt like that is NO FUN! i've learned that!!! but how do you define "trust"? someone to share personal deep thoughts? i have no idea really... i just think it's possible to have friends on not trust them. however, i do trust them enough to hang out with them... so yeah. weird.

what are your thoughts on this?

sonia
that's all i have